Life Ninjas | Online Dating, the female perspective

  • By Yolandi De La Cruz

Life Ninjas bring you first hand reports from real life social experiences


 

Fairy tales do exist… apparently

Fairy tales do exist, apparently. Never thought that me, of all people, would say this. But yes, fairy tales do exist, believe it or not.

When I was a little girl, I used to watch all the cartoons and movies. Read all the books. Day dreamt that I was some kind of princess from some far, far away exotic island who needs to be saved.

Then life happened. My dream was crushed… There’s no “and they lived happily ever after” in this book. After 2 failed long term relationships, the one worse than the other, I caught myself wondering if I’m not just doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. The Cat Lady, minus the cats as I’m allergic to them (yes, I am aware of hairless cats and no, I don’t want those). Maybe my expectations are way too high and I might be aiming for an unrealistic goal. A man who doesn’t exist and a relationship that I will never have.

Now, being a 34 year old single mom in Barcelona: it’s awesome being single in this city. The nightlife is booming, you will never get bored. Sleep off your hangover at the beach and party on! One small problem… That’s not me. When you work full-time, next to being a single mom, trust me – the last thing in your mind is partying. Second small problem. As it seems, compared to the average characteristics of all humans (and maybe undercover aliens) that I have ever met in my life: I’m very, very traditional.

That being said, any other option? After being in those 2 relationships with both ex-colleagues, work (where else do you meet people?) is a big No-No, so we turn to…

Online dating

A lot of friends and colleagues advised (and somewhat pushed) me to try a very popular dating app. I was bored on a Sunday afternoon, so why not give it a try. Installed the app and found out that I have to log in with a personally linked social media account. Yeah, I don’t think so. Ok, second try… Not a high rated one, but why not.

Unfortunately, I quickly found out that these apps are definitely not meant for me as well. Not so sure about you guys, but even if you place your criteria as: only looking for friends, you’d still get bombarded with… well, indecent proposals and unsolicited banana and coconut pictures. Yes, let us name them after fruit.

I still remember being so confused and overwhelmed, sitting in the tube on the way to wherever. Coming back home 2 hours later, opening the app and seeing 32 unread messages. I browsed through them and made up my mind to as well give up on this option.

With one exception… I gave my number to a random guy, the only decent one with whom I actually had a very interesting conversation with. I thought it was kind of odd, as if I’ve known this guy for years. Being honest, I didn’t even remember how his profile picture looked like on the app as I had no intentions of using it except for passing time conversations (how naive of me, right?).

I didn’t know if my last message even got to him when I gave my number telling him I’m going to uninstall the app. I wanted to forget this whole app-fiasco and didn’t even give it a thought anymore… Until I get a message from a number from the UK, I believe, the next day. With a very random, but cute, profile picture.

It was Mr. Random guy! I didn’t see that one coming. I was curious about how he looked like, so I thought, why not ask for a picture… And a picture I got for sure. Mr. Random guy turned out to be Mr. Prince Charming. Tall, dark and handsome. The kindest, sweetest, most intelligent gentleman I’ve ever met. You know, like in one of those fairy tales I used to watch and dream about. Funny thing is that he came up with this nickname “princesita” without even knowing anything about me yet, just after we started talking. What a coincidence, right?

My fairy godmother probably finally sobered up and got rid of her hang-over on the beach. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a kiss from Prince Charming someday.


 

Y.Cruz@thelinternational.org.uk